Christmas

The end of Christmas for this year has come. All in all it was a pretty good one. Nice presents lots of family time, but I still felt like something was lacking. I feel like sometimes you just go through the motions in life so no one can see the underlying pain. This year went by and I feel a huge feeling of loss. I shouldn't because I have many family members still alive and I am able to talk to and see, but the 3 people I have lost were some of the top 3 people a person could lose in life and with last year's passing of my Grandfather I feel these deaths more deeply than I did before. I feel like I lost a part of myself that I can never get back. My Mother and my maternal grandparents were very important in my life and it has been a haze since they have passed, especially with my Grandfather's passing. No matter how many years go by I will miss them and feel a part of me is not complete. I never got the chance to fully live out that relationship I was supposed to have with them. I feel as if life cheated me that chance to fulfill those relationships and connections.