Christmas

The end of Christmas for this year has come. All in all it was a pretty good one. Nice presents lots of family time, but I still felt like something was lacking. I feel like sometimes you just go through the motions in life so no one can see the underlying pain. This year went by and I feel a huge feeling of loss. I shouldn't because I have many family members still alive and I am able to talk to and see, but the 3 people I have lost were some of the top 3 people a person could lose in life and with last year's passing of my Grandfather I feel these deaths more deeply than I did before. I feel like I lost a part of myself that I can never get back. My Mother and my maternal grandparents were very important in my life and it has been a haze since they have passed, especially with my Grandfather's passing. No matter how many years go by I will miss them and feel a part of me is not complete. I never got the chance to fully live out that relationship I was supposed to have with them. I feel as if life cheated me that chance to fulfill those relationships and connections.

Another holiday season

Yet another holiday season goes by and I hate working retail! You really see the true colors of people when you work retail during Christmas. No manners, disgusting habits and just an utter contempt with society. Christmas presents should be quality not quantity or dollar amount. You are supposed to convey your feelings for that person with a heartfelt gift not the most expensive gift. This year I have spent very little on gifts but each of those gifts is something I know that person will enjoy, and will hopefully think fondly of me when they use/watch/read their gifts. I worked Black Friday yet again this year, and the stupidity of people amazes me sometimes. For instance, when an item is a "special buy" and is only being offered until all quantities are sold out don't ask for rainchecks because once we are sold out of the item we are sold out hence why they were a "special buy" and dont come 3 days later asking if that item is still in stock or has a raincheck available...it was a Black Friday special deal! Ugh, shoppers!